I want you to know my story. I am not sure why. Perhaps it will give you courage to press on. Perhaps it will give you courage to stop. You tell me.
This is my story. It was amazing at times. It was painful at times. But at all times it was beautiful. I am posting it here because it cannot be denied and will not be forgotten. The memories, both good and bad, will forever be a part of me.
You can read more posts about Jack and for Jack in my Categories found on the side bar:
A-to-Z Challenge (a variety of things for Jack)
Jack Pissed Me Off
Letters for Jack
Poetry for Jack
Promises. Does anyone live up to them? Does a promise made by one person become an unrealistic expectation of another?
I think I am over the anger and bitterness and disgust that I harbored for him and what we had done. But with letting go, those feelings of love and lust and adoration come creeping back in.
I want it to end. And I want it all back. If this is anyyhing close to what hell feels like, I really need to pray more.
It is the season. One that we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. But also one where we gather with our loved ones and celebrate the moment. But what if you can not celebrate with the one you love? What if the one you love does not believe in Jesus Christ?
For those of you who follow this blog, you know my miserable and ridiculous story. Part of me wants to delete the blog. Part of me wants to keep it forever.
I wonder sometimes if I will ever forget about Jack. I wonder sometimes if I really want to. And I wonder if he ever thinks about me. And if he does, does he hurt? Or does he smile? Or do I still make him sick?
Does that ever go away?