For the next month or so our contact was very strained. There was definitely something wrong but I did not know what it was. I wanted to walk away but I couldn’t. Part of me wants to think it was because of the bond we shared. The other part of me knows it was because I was used to getting what I wanted. And that was not happening here.
I had a chance to go to Denver, this time by myself. I sent Jack a pointed email and told him if he wanted to see me he could meet me in Denver.
“Why do you do this Jackie?”
“Do what Jack?”
“You make these plans without consulting with me and then you just expect me to be there. I cannot see you then, I already have plans I cannot get out of”
I made the plans because my life was turning upside down and I needed to get away. I needed to get away by myself. I needed to think. But when the opportunity presented itself for me to get away alone all I could think about was being with Jack.
I called Jack and we talked. I was good to hear his voice, but we were both frustrated. We were both trying to fight the feelings we had for each other yet both knew we needed each other. We went through the schedule of the next few weeks. This week worked for him. That week worked for me. And finally we found a week that worked well for both of us. I changed my flight and hotel reservations and he scheduled his.
As luck would have it we would be together on the one year anniversary of the day we met, or the day I think we met. He says it was another day. He’s probably right, but I will never tell him that. Or should I say the day we met by chance as he was merely selected as a random player on a game I was playing late one night.
It would be another six weeks before we saw each other again. We waited with anticipation. But just knowing we would see each other soon made the separation so much easier.