Months of Foreplay

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He is nothing like the reputation that preceded him.  He is nothing like anyone I have ever met.   He shined with confidence.   He had passion.   Passion for music, for his career, for his family, for us, for life.   “Life is too short” he once told me.  Today, I question whether or not it was those words “Life is too short”  came out of his mouth.  He’s different today.  He has no passion.   Maybe I ruined that.  I don’t know.

We endured months of teasing, sexting and goofy playing with each other.   I had a smile on my face every day.   He just made me laugh.  Laughter is important in my life.   I had not realized it until I met Jack.  It was nice.  We had a goal.   We had set a date to meet in a romantic city, not his hometown and not my hometown.   As the months we had moments that “normal” lovers had.  We fought.  We cried.  We made up.  He touched me in a way that no one else could or had even tried to.  Never in my life had someone made me come with simple words.   Just imagining his hands on me drive me crazy.

As the day grew nearer so did the excitement.   And the anxiety.    Our plans were almost cancelled because his wife had other plans for him that weekend.   Imagine how special I felt when he chose to meet me that weekend and disappoint her.  I had never done anything like this before.  I didn’t think he had either, but I don’t know.   Maybe I was just another victim of his game.   I hope not.   I don’t want to think I was that stupid.   Hell, even if I was I have no regrets.  It was an amazing time in my life.   I think not knowing is what drives me crazy.   Never really knowing if what we had was real or just a game.   I will probably never know for sure.

It would be a long six months before we would actually touch each other.   But it was worth the wait.   So very much worth the wait.

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